Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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