I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
