YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
