are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dignity is for republicans.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
