So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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