did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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