my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
