Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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