Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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