I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize