Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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