Yo dont text me then not text me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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