i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
