for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
that is very illegal...i love you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize