Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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