Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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