hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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