When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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