Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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