Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
