Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
