D3 body, D1 cock
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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