Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
