Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
