yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The uberlube is also flammable
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
