why didn't you poke me back
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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