i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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