this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
