My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
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You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
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Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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