im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We left an ass print on the piano.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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