Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
