Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
