You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize