I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You're earring is so big in my mouth
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize