Me too!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
