I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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