Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
