batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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