How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
