I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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