It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
