Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
