So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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