Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
