she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
