Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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