I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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