ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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