I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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