i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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