As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
