Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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even the AIR tastes like tequila.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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