its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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