ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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