The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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