We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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